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Monday, 25 May 2015

26 Thoughts Normal People Have Whilst At The Gym

We've all done it: put our gym gear on, fastened up our neon trainers and said to ourselves 'let's do this.' Well, according to any sport advert anyway (I'm looking at you Nike.... no-one looks that great after a run, lets be honest.) 

For me exercise goes more like this-

1. I'm SUUUPER motivated to go to this class

2. Crap, this class looks busy. Hope no-one judges me for how utterly unfit I am and the fact my gym clothes don't look as fancy as everyone else's *curse you asda george range and your £6 sport leggings*

3. Right, let's just do this. Everyone's got to start somewhere right? And who knows- maybe I'll become of they athletic junkies who just gets addicted to exercise?

4. Maybe not.

5. Okay, we're all going in. There's no going back now. Why does this feel like I'm entering the hunger games?

6. OOOOO I love that girl's trainers! Maybe I could ask her where she got them. Or is that weird considering everyone else looks in the zone to be doing exercise and I'm only concerned about peach-coloured trainers...

7. Fuck sake it's freezing in here. Does my sky-high membership price not cover heating, no?

8. The instructor looks scary. Is it too late to back out of this....

9. Oh my god, just man up and do it. It's only an hour, I can do this.

10. Here we go. Into the arena I go, goodbye district 12. (Y'know if I WAS actually Katniss, with a bow and arrow and all that jazz ... )

11. Feeling SUPER pumped.


13. *face, arms, back, legs, entire body, everything sweating* IS THIS NORMAL? DOES EVERYONE SWEAT THIS MUCH?

14. Maybe I should go get that seen about.

15. Squats. Squats. All dem squats.

16. Yep, we're running. I can do this, this is enjoyable.

17. Well y'know, the first two times were.

18. Fuck sake it's roasting in here. Does my sky-high membership price not cover air-con, no?

19. Sit ups are literally the work of the devil. Why does it feel like my stomach is on FIRE?!

20. Finally! The warm down track.

21. I'm so good at stretching, maybe I should join Yoga...

22. DO NOT look in the mirror. Yoga may not be an option anymore as I now know what I look like when my arse is in the air.

23. The instructor is smiling at me. This can mean one of two things: either she feels sorry for me and my scarlett face OR I've just aced that class and she clearly thinks her and I are on the same fitness levels.

24. Yep, defos the second one. I am a fitness goddess- might even have a green tea when I get home.

25.  *gets into car* cries at how stiff body feels.

26. repeats the process.

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